| To Your Health (the Sequel)! |
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Here are other "illnesses" identified in an article that I wrote for the APMP Journal (Fall/Winter 2009): "from A to Z, the Very 'Unofficial' APMP Glossary". Enjoy this blog entry ... not the "illnesses." Just In Time-itis: An ailment marked by completing a proposal development task at the last possible minute. (See also clutched hand-itis and chasing the FedEx truck-itis.) Last Proposal-itis: An ailment marked by the plaintive cries of weary and frazzled proposal professionals who say “This is the last proposal I ever work on!” and then work on another one; a similar ailment suffered by women who say “no more children” during labor or runners who say “no more marathons” during the last six miles of a marathon, yet, have another child or run another marathon. Lazy List-itis: An ailment marked by the overuse of bulleted and cryptic listings with symptoms including: the lack of meaningful data, wasted white space on the page, a proposal that looks like an outline. No Time to Plan-itis: An ailment marked by a late start on a proposal and the proposal team stating that there is no time for proposal strategizing, planning, and outlining because “we need to start writing.” Not Invented Here-itis: An ailment marked by resistance to make changes in the use of proposal processes, strategies, or tools because “we have never done it that way” or “we did not do it that way on the ___ proposal, and we won it.” Oh No-itis: An ailment marked by the “Oh no, you did exactly what you were told you to do” attitude of a follow-up review team that contradicts the guidance it (or another review team) gave the proposal team in a prior review. Org Chart-itis: An ailment marked by the wrong assumption that a management approach is clearly explained by an organization chart. Ostrich-itis: An ailment marked by ignoring the weaknesses of your proposal’s technical or management approach or the cited past performance contracts with the hope that the prospective customer will not know about those weaknesses.
Out the Door-itis: An ailment marked by the harried and mistake-prone work at the end of a proposal process because writing, review, and edit of the proposal are allowed to infringe on the time scheduled for printing, binding, book checking, and packaging the proposal for delivery. Over Expectation-itis: An ailment marked by expectations of proposal/volume managers that proposal writers should write sections that are readable, accurate, and responsive to the RFP, and that they actually understand what they write; disappointment caused by writers who use proposal boilerplate they do not understand or know to be accurate, while refusing to tailor it for responding to the subject RFP. (See also boilerplate and writer discretion-itis.) Over the Wall-itis: An ailment marked by marketing/sales reps passing an RFP to the proposal team with an order to have the proposal ready by a certain date but with no plan on their part to contribute anything to the proposal. Paid by the Word-itis: An ailment marked by verbose proposal writers writing like they get paid by the word; if left untreated can become a more virulent strain called paid by the syllable-itis. Parrot-itis: An ailment marked by repeating RFP requirements in the proposal with the basic statement you will meet the requirements (the what) without explaining the who, when, where, why, and how of your solution; not to be confused with the illness of a Jimmy Buffett fan. (See also trust me proposal.) Shotgun-itis: An ailment marked by bidding on any RFP that asks for products/services that can be provided by your company, regardless of your likelihood of winning the bid; based on the belief that doing proposals is what the proposal department is paid to do, and if you keep bidding, sooner or later you are bound to win. (See also bid decision.) Sick of Looking at it-itis: An ailment marked by the realization if you have to read or revise another draft of the proposal you are going to scream; a good indication that the proposal is ready for final production—or should be. Signature-itis: An ailment marked by submitting a proposal missing at least one key signature because of the failure to review signature requirements in the RFP; related to an ailment caused by realizing on the day of proposal printing that the person who needs to sign the proposal is out-of-town: forgery-itis. Step in the Ant Bed-itis: An ailment marked by the release of an RFP and the frenzied effort of a proposal team that starts responding to the RFP with no planning, organization, or control. Writer Discretion-itis: An ailment marked by the refusal of proposal writers to accept proposal/volume manager suggestions for planning proposal section outlines and content, a difference of opinion not based on the merits of those suggestions or their compliance with RFP requirements, but rather their incompatibility with the writers’ desire to use boilerplate and exert only the minimum effort to write the sections and get the proposal/volume manager off their backs. Writer’s Block-itis: An ailment marked by the inability to write proposal text caused by a mental/physical breakdown between the writer’s brain and fingers; can be a devastating malady when facing an approaching proposal submittal deadline.
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